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But I tried to help!

Emotional Activation Escalates Invalidation

Invalidation Escalates Emotional Activation

When the transactional nature of invalidation and emotional dysregulation is apparent, the path is clear toward reducing emotional reactivity and increasing healthy communication:

1. Mindfulness of one’s own inner experience.

2. Self-regulation of emotions (Note: This is not suppression of one’s feelings)

3. Accurate and non-judgmental expression.

4. Validation of the other person's inner experience.

These are four skills that anyone can learn. Mastering these skills does take practice and sometimes patience and perseverance, but mastery is within reach of everyone… even in difficult relationships. In fact, this is the essence of Emotional Intelligence: effectively managing one’s own feelings and behaviors as well as responding in a way that positively influences the emotional response of another person.

For more information on developing these four skills and increasing your “emotional intelligence,” especially if you have a loved-one who is highly reactive, check out the schedule of upcoming workshops!

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