FAMILY & INDIVIDUAL COACHING

You are doing everything right, and nothing changes You are trying to help. You don't want to see your loved one suffer. This is a good person with a lot of potential! If only... Ellen's brother Mike is thirty-eight. She has felt responsible for her little brother ever since their parents passed away when he was still in high school and she was already working. He has lost three jobs in four years and "relapses" into binge drinking a couple of times a month. He lives in a sma

What is your go-to when your loved one is emotionally dysregulated? Fight is driven by anger and a belief that you can overpower the threat. Flight is the classic fear-based response to avoid or escape the threat. Freeze may be severe dissociation, including fainting, or it may be avoiding engagement and hoping the threat passes by. Fawn may arise from fear as well, but there is likely to be guilt involved as you find yourself trying to soothe your loved one. Your emotional r

You may need to better protect yourself, your loved one, and the relationship from a misreading of an email that neither of you would have chosen. The Core Reminders A private email account of your own. Please use an email account that only you have access to, one that isn’t shared with a partner, parent, or family member and isn’t tied to a family plan. This is the one place where you can think out loud, and that only works if you know no one else is reading over your should

Someone recently asked me how she could get her loved one to stop isolating herself. My first thought was, "Start with the connections and the support that you need so that you are not alone in that." The belief that you should manage everything alone, you are the only support for your loved one, or nobody else can understand, are exactly the kinds of thought that DBT names clearly: resistance to reality. Radical acceptance, one of the core distress tolerance skills, offers a

Are you trapped in a relationship with a spouse or partner who is entitled and dependent upon you for far too many of life's daily responsibilities? Is your partner expecting everything and blaming you for everything that doesn't meet their expectations? Surely you have explained how hard you are trying and hoping for a little recognition! Still, no change. You are stuck accommodating your loved one's entitled dependence, perhaps without even realizing it. Here are seven d

I know you are a sensitive person, and I might add exquisitely sensitive sometimes. I know that I can say or do things that trigger an intense reaction, which can be a very unpleasant experience for you. It can be hard for you to believe I would do or say those things without realizing how hurtful they are. I can see how much thought you put into trying to fix confusion and prevent emotional pain. I can see how much energy you put into trying to help me understand what I di