Core Mindfulness Skills

A REMINDER AND REVIEW FOR SOME. VALUABLE NEW PRACTICES FOR OTHERS.

If you have a difficult relationship, these core mindfulness skills are important to practice. These skills are fundamental to relieving your pain and improving your life. Practice is essential!

HOW do you practice core mindfulness skills?

Non-judgmentally – Let go of your automatic criticisms, negative judgments, and self-absorbed interpretations. Automatic judgments sustain your emotional suffering. Being non-judgmental is at the core of experiencing a life of satisfaction, contentment, wonder, and joy. For example:

·      If you realize you thought or spoke judgmentally about another person, try to rephrase what you said, replacing judgmental thoughts and words with non-judgmental thoughts and words.

One thing at a time – Give full attention to just one thing at a time. Let go of trying to multi-task or divide the attention in ways that increase stress and confusion. Try this:

·      With all of your attention present, sit and listen to another person speak. Do not look away, do not interrupt, listen with your eyes and ears and heart.

Effectively – Live in the present moment without forgetting your objectives, aspirations, and values. Act skillfully in each situation, fully aligned with your values, needs, and goals. Behave as the person you aspire to be.

·      Ask yourself, "What am I doing? "For what reason?” “What do I want out of this activity?”

·      If you are feeling stubborn, competitive, self-righteous, angry, or closed in any way: ask yourself, "Is this effective?" Let go of tension, stop being resistant, and try to open yourself up to being more effective. Notice the difference.

WHAT do you do to be mindful?

Observe – Perceive what you see, hear, or feel and just be present with your pure perception. Savor the taste of chocolate or the smell of roses. You can also observe your inner feelings and thoughts. Instead of being lost in thought or hijacked by emotion, observe thoughts and feelings, fully aware that you are observing a thought or a feeling.

·      Stop for a moment and just listen. Listen to whatever sound enters the ears. Listen to the silences between the sounds.

·      Notice if there is tension in your face or jaw, your neck or shoulders. Just notice if it might be possible to let go of some of that tension as you exhale.

Describe – Describe is the practice of putting precise words on what you observe without adding any evaluations or value judgments. It is difficult to not be present when you are actively describing what you see or feel as it is happening. One practice would be:

·      Describe what you see. Describe the shapes, colors, textures, light, shadow, movement or stillness, as if it were the first time you were seeing it.

Participate – Participate fully in whatever activity you are doing. Completely absorbed in an activity you may find that yourself in a state of flow, unaware of the past or the future and just being in the moment. For example:

·      Sing, dance, run, play a game or a sport, or go for a walk in nature and immerse yourself in the activity.

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Exercise: Pick one core mindfulness skill to practice each day. Some practices may help you to:

A) Feel more Aware of the present moment,

B) Have a stronger sense of control over your Behavior.

C) Feel more Centered and grounded, and

Write how effective the practice was for each possible benefit when you tried it (1=not effective to 5=very effective).

Non-judgmentally       A:___   B:___   C:___

One thing at a time     A:___   B:___   C:___

Effectively                  A:___   B:___   C:___

Observe                       A:___   B:___   C:___

Describe                      A:___   B:___   C:___

Participate                   A:___   B:___   C:___

After trying them all, what practice was the most helpful? What practices would you like to continue to work on?