Have you ever wondered why your loved one misinterprets your motivations, clings to cognitive distortions as if they were facts, or insists that you must agree with their unique perspective (which is, in your opinion, wrong)? The ability to mentalize goes offline in BPD and NPD, especially when a person is under stress. Mentalizing is perceiving and interpreting behavior based upon a person's intentions and inner experiences. It is trying to understand another's needs, wants, thoughts, goals, purposes, feelings, and reasons with an open and curious mind. Mentalizing makes meaning out of behavior. Good mentalization is accurate. Poor mentalization encompasses various types of misinterpretations. Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT) was developed in England by Anthony Bateman and Peter Fonagy to treat borderline personality disorder. Personality disorders are increasingly viewed as having common impairments in self and interpersonal function in four areas: a sense of self (identity), a sense of agency (capacity for self-direction), the ability to understand the internal experiences of others (cognitive and emotional empathy) and the capacity for closeness and trust (intimacy). These four areas involve mentalization. People with BPD can mentalize effectively, however, it seems to go offline with emotional activation from close interpersonal interactions, self-relevant situations, or increased cognitive complexity of a task. Mentalizing impairments in a person with BPD can result in rigid and distorted interpretations of the words and actions of family members. For families this can be the most frustrating aspect of the relationship. Learning the basics of Mentalization and Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT) will give family members a greater understanding of a loved one with a personality disorder, as well as more effective responses to improve their own mentalization as well as their loved ones. MBT was developed for BPD and it is being used to treat other personality disorders, including pathological narcissism, the most severe form of NPD. This 4-week course offers an Introduction to Mentalization for family members who are interested in learning more about the Mentalization Stance and some of the therapeutic interventions in MBT used to treat BPD and NPD. Classes scheduled for 90 minutes on Wednesdays in May at: 10 am PT | 11 am MT | 12 noon CT | 1pm ET | 6 pm London.

You don’t have to keep tiptoeing around, worried about the next emotional explosion (or self-inflicted implosion.) If your son or daughter, or any other family member is causing you fear, avoidance, and exhaustion and you want some personal guidance, I can help. If you want to get your loved-one back in touch, or into therapy, or just more centered and balanced, then you have come to the right place. While there is lots of information and support out there for free, maybe you want to “cut to the chase” and schedule some direct support. Schedule your appointment with me at your convenience here.

If you love someone with symptoms of BPD, everyday interactions can become unpredictable. Calm turns to crisis and "it's all your fault." After years of volatility, withdrawal, and stalled progress, you’re frustrated, confused, and ready for tools that actually help. This workshop is for anyone who is burned out from trying so hard to manage a difficult and painful relationship. You’ll learn to understand what’s really driving your loved one’s problematic behaviors, how to reduce conflict instead of escalating it, and how to begin to shift you toward better health and your loved one toward recovery. WHAT YOU’LL LEARN What are the causes, conditions, and cures for BPD Skills to remain present, centered, and grounded and not take things personally How to regulate your own emotional reactions and avoid escalating others Validation skills that soothe your loved one's distress and reduce conflict How to communicate unwanted information, make difficult requests, or say no effectively without triggering painful reactions How to change behaviors (and why old strategies haven’t worked) Skills for navigating threats, self-harm, or risky behavior Tools for staying grounded when emotions surge How to break out of black-and-white thinking patterns together WORKSHOP DETAILS This is a live online with Corrine Stoewsand, who has 20 years of experience teaching and coaching DBT skills to families with a loved one with symptoms of BPD. The entire 12-week program is $540—just $45 per class. (The fee is per individual, not per family.) WHAT OTHERS HAVE SAID ABOUT THE WORKSHOP One mother shared that before starting the program, she felt swallowed by her daughter’s emotional storms—“I was overwhelmed and exhausted,” she said. “But after just a few classes, I saw real changes in our relationship. It was the first time I felt hopeful in years.” A husband told us he entered the course wanting “the perfect thing to say” to fix his wife’s anger and fear. What surprised him was realizing that changing his own reactions—rather than trying to control hers—shifted the whole dynamic. “I didn’t expect that,” he said. “But it’s working.” Another parent showed up hoping for quick scripts to handle her adult son’s crises. What she found instead was a deeper transformation in herself: “This program helped me understand my own emotional patterns. And that changed everything.” These are the kinds of stories that unfold when people finally receive the right guidance, tools, and support.

Personal coaching for persons facing anxiety, shame, conflict or who just want to their lives to flourish with inner peace, joy and satisfying relationships. Skills training may include: mindfulness and meditation, emotional regulation, distress tolerance, self-compassion, and interpersonal communication. To schedule individual coaching and skills training, go here.