Self-Compassion: The Ultimate Source of Emotional Recovery

I have attended several interesting conferences on trauma in the past year. It seems that experts from all types of psychology "lineages" are moving toward a few integrated practices. One that really makes a lot of sense is the practice of self-compassion.

When we feel our discomfort, acknowledge our own pain, and put words on the physical experience of our suffering -- including emotional suffering, we are engaging of a mindful awareness of our experience. It is holding that space for ourselves to feel what we feel. That is the first step.

The second step is to respond with self-compassion to that part of ourselves that hurts. We respond as a loving mother responds to her very young child -- with our own inner mother and inner child. We learn to nurture and soothe those parts of us that rise up with anger, fear, or shame, for example. It is a practice of self-love and self-kindness. This is not turning away from these feelings, covering them up, or acting out every urge. Instead we find a way to open up our hearts to all our pain and suffering with a loving desire to protect, to accompany, and to not make the pain worse...even when it is unavoidable part of life.

Self-compassion practices can involve words and images. They can also be wordless movements or gestures that send information from the body to the brain. A bear hug of one's self. A meditation with both hands over the heart. A tender touch.

SELF-COMPASSION MICRO-COURSE

Here are 6 "micro-classes" on self-compassion. For most readers, this is not new. But it is a good reminder. The last two are guided practices and you might go straight there if you felt like it. May your heart be filled with love and compassion for you, in good times and in painful, embarrassing, anxious, or angry times as well.